Many of you are probably old enough to remember flowers in your hair and the sweet music that evolved from a magical summer years ago. It seems as if I’m reliving that summer in many ways. So far it’s been filled with visits with dear friends resulting in laughter and hugs. We’ve filled our heads and hearts with exciting music, traveling around to hear our friends play various venues and always waking up the next morning with their songs still keeping us company. Even our teenaged granddaughter has enjoyed accompanying us on such ventures this summer, leaving her heavy metal music behind her and opening her ears to other avenues and even LIKING what she hears! If John Sebastian was singing “Do You Believe in Magic?” I would have to shout out “Yes”.
Of course, I’m exhausted.
I thought with hubby not working we’d have long hours where we wouldn’t know what to do with ourselves and we’d be bored and restless and what have you. That hasn’t happened. We’ve had time to read a ton of wonderful books…..The Lacuna by Barbara Kingslover and Terrorist by John Updike have to be the best books I’ve read all year and both of us were spellbound by Stephen King’s Under The Dome which I read in three days (1072 pages), not doing anything else except walk the dog and answer hubby when he'd ask, “Where are you now in the book?”
We still don’t have a plan for what’s nextin our forced retirement. Hubby is still enduring physical therapy but is now able to join Rupert and me on our walks and actually mowed the lawn yesterday for the first time this year. Little by little it’s getting better. I admit to awaking in the middle of the night sometimes in a blind panic wondering when the money is going to run out and which bridge I’ll be begging beneath ….but, for now, I’m enjoying this beautiful summer of love. It’s never too hot for me, so I’m about the only person I know who’s not complaining about the lack of rain. As they sang way back when…..Let the sun shine, let the sun shine, let the sun shine in.
Thursday, July 29, 2010
Sunday, July 4, 2010
Grandbaby
She is not our first, baby Gwen, yet she is oh so special, this one. I’ve always said, if there was any woman on the face of this earth that I would choose to be a mother to my grandchildren, it would be Kate….and how blessed I am to have a son wise enough to choose Kate to have this special child with. To add even more to my blessings, Kate honored me by having me with her when baby Gwen was delivered last Christmas Eve. This was truly an event I will never forget. I have not been able to find adequate words to describe the emotions that ran through my heart and head on that day as Kate held my hand and this delightful little girl slipped into our world.Gwendolyn Mary is a curious six-month old who has a quick smile after she warms up to you. Her belly laugh is genuine. She’s pulling up on everything she gets her hands on, eager to walk, exactly as her father was at that age. He pulled this task off at nine months, so proud of himself he jumped up and down with glee, then fell into the coffee table, cut his forehead open and needed three stitches. He did not attempt walking unassisted again for a couple of months. I’m hoping Gwen takes her time.
Gwen’s going to be such an amazing kid. Her folks are so patient with her, seeing the world anew through her eyes and enjoying the view tremendously. She can’t help but turn out to be even smarter than the two of them are. I hope I’m around long enough to see where her passions lead her. I know she’ll find her way to amazing places and will be allowed to dip her toes into the water on many shores in her search to find what feels like home. Her parents understand that happiness is the journey and not the destination, such an important lesson to learn. Gwen could not be in better hands. This shows in her smile, in her dirty face at the end of a busy day exploring her world, in the contented way she falls asleep in her mother’s arms. Ah, Gwendolyn Mary. She is indeed a grand baby.
What I Don't Understand
Yes, indeed, I could write a book with that title. Every holiday weekend we swear we won’t stay at the campground because there are too many idiots who literally disturb our peace with their misbehaved dogs and children while they drink all day and night and play around with illegal fireworks. I have to admit that it gives us great pleasure to get up early the next morning and walk Rupert through the campground. These transient campers are typically hung over, sitting by campfires with grumpy kids who still wanted their breakfast (imagine that) and dogs who haven’t stopped barking since they pitched their tent or pulled their noisy pickup trucks up to the campers they only use for holiday weekends. We stroll by, shout “good morning” to them with a smile on our face. We’ve observed the “quiet” rules, turning our fan on inside our camper so we don’t hear the drone that continues long after 11:00 PM on these weekends, after the illegal fireworks have frightened Rupert to the point of a near heart attack, leaving him in a pool of drool huddled beneath the table inside the camper, leaving me on the brink of another seizure, leaving us to wonder how much the rates here will be increased when someone loses a finger or two and the liability insurance rates go sky high. Those bright lights (much better when left to the professionals anyway) won’t seem so special then, I imagine.
This campground that we call home from May to October doesn’t have many bells and whistles. There’s not much for the kids to do here. That’s a common complaint. For us, it’s one of the reasons we stay here: we like it that there aren’t a ton of kids roaming around all the time. We’ve played that game. We love to have the grandkids come; we love to have them go home again. We’re here to watch the trees grow, watch the lake change as the wind switches direction, listen to the birds call to one another, chuckle at the chipmunks scampering across the camper deck, enjoy the sunrise and the sunset. We want the peace and quiet. We’ll relinquish it to those who crave the party atmosphere of the holiday weekends, yet we’ll never understand why they put themselves through all that. They’d feel so much better if they’d drink less, take a nice morning walk with their dogs and children, or sit quietly and look around them, enjoy these beautiful woods without making all that useless noise. Don’t they get enough of that at their jobs or in their homes?
This campground that we call home from May to October doesn’t have many bells and whistles. There’s not much for the kids to do here. That’s a common complaint. For us, it’s one of the reasons we stay here: we like it that there aren’t a ton of kids roaming around all the time. We’ve played that game. We love to have the grandkids come; we love to have them go home again. We’re here to watch the trees grow, watch the lake change as the wind switches direction, listen to the birds call to one another, chuckle at the chipmunks scampering across the camper deck, enjoy the sunrise and the sunset. We want the peace and quiet. We’ll relinquish it to those who crave the party atmosphere of the holiday weekends, yet we’ll never understand why they put themselves through all that. They’d feel so much better if they’d drink less, take a nice morning walk with their dogs and children, or sit quietly and look around them, enjoy these beautiful woods without making all that useless noise. Don’t they get enough of that at their jobs or in their homes?
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
Onativia Church Music Series
One of the best kept secrets in the local music scene has been the First Friday concerts at this lovely little white church just off Route 20 in Lafayette, NY. If you’ve read me before, I’ve written about several folks we’ve heard play there. The acoustics in the church are amazing and the talent brought in never fails to provide top notch entertainment. Sherrie and Opie (the brains behind this operation) work very hard to make the experience welcoming and pleasant…..and the homemade desserts for sale during intermission are pretty darn tasty, too!
What great news to find out they were expanding their series to include other Friday nights! Here are shows scheduled for future Fridays, beginning at 7 PM:
July 9th - Diamond Someday
July 23rd – Butternut Creek
August 6th – Donna Colton and the Troublemaker (that’s Sam, of course)
September 10th – Dana Klipp (Northwater)
October 1st – Folkstrings
October 22nd – Larry Hoyt and the Good Acoustics
November 5th – Joe Davoli and Harvey Nussbaum
November 19th – Joanne Perry and the Unstoppables
December 3rd – Donna Colton and Sam’s Holiday Performance
March 11th – Mark Zane and Friends (yes….Sherrie’s booked folks all the way into 2011)
We had the absolute pleasure to catch Mikey Powell and Dusty Pascal (or is it Pas’cal…..I never know if I should put that apostrophe in or not….sorry, Dusty, if I got it wrong) at the beginning of the month. We knew it would be a good show; the way hubby is feeling these days after his knee replacement surgery, we do not venture too far away from home or camp for much of anything. It was so much more than GOOD though. It was magnificent. Such talented singer-songwriters who absolutely love bringing their tales to an audience didn’t even have to break a sweat to please this crowd. What a pleasure it was to sit back and watch them perform. Everyone in the audience was attentive. That’s what’s so great about going to one of these gigs at Onativia….you can sit back and truly listen to what’s being played and hear the mastery of the artist. Mikey and Dusty gave us a lot to remember, tunes that stuck in our heads as we drove back home.
Work it into your calendar to get over to Onativia Church, just off Route 20 at the corner of Dodge Road and Apulia Road. Music starts at 7:00 PM and they’ll pass the collection plates around at some point to pay the musicians. Be generous. You’ll be in for a special treat.
What great news to find out they were expanding their series to include other Friday nights! Here are shows scheduled for future Fridays, beginning at 7 PM:
July 9th - Diamond Someday
July 23rd – Butternut Creek
August 6th – Donna Colton and the Troublemaker (that’s Sam, of course)
September 10th – Dana Klipp (Northwater)
October 1st – Folkstrings
October 22nd – Larry Hoyt and the Good Acoustics
November 5th – Joe Davoli and Harvey Nussbaum
November 19th – Joanne Perry and the Unstoppables
December 3rd – Donna Colton and Sam’s Holiday Performance
March 11th – Mark Zane and Friends (yes….Sherrie’s booked folks all the way into 2011)
We had the absolute pleasure to catch Mikey Powell and Dusty Pascal (or is it Pas’cal…..I never know if I should put that apostrophe in or not….sorry, Dusty, if I got it wrong) at the beginning of the month. We knew it would be a good show; the way hubby is feeling these days after his knee replacement surgery, we do not venture too far away from home or camp for much of anything. It was so much more than GOOD though. It was magnificent. Such talented singer-songwriters who absolutely love bringing their tales to an audience didn’t even have to break a sweat to please this crowd. What a pleasure it was to sit back and watch them perform. Everyone in the audience was attentive. That’s what’s so great about going to one of these gigs at Onativia….you can sit back and truly listen to what’s being played and hear the mastery of the artist. Mikey and Dusty gave us a lot to remember, tunes that stuck in our heads as we drove back home.
Work it into your calendar to get over to Onativia Church, just off Route 20 at the corner of Dodge Road and Apulia Road. Music starts at 7:00 PM and they’ll pass the collection plates around at some point to pay the musicians. Be generous. You’ll be in for a special treat.
Monday, June 21, 2010
Neighbors
I’m blessed….and cursed.
Coming home with a belly full of spaghetti and meatballs courtesy of Mary Ellen who cooked for us tonight, knowing we’d come home from the camper and had doctor appointments and nothing in our refrigerator here…..she is so wonderful…..I was accosted by my neighbor in the back who accused me of messing with the clothes she had in the washing machine today.
Right. I’ve got all sorts of time for that kind of stuff in my life these days. Actually, SHE took MY clothes out of the washer to put her clothes in AND opened the dryer door so my clothes in there didn’t dry….but she had an “issue” with my messing with her clothes. This woman just came home from the hospital with a newborn baby (we did not know she was pregnant even) and has a less-than-two-year-old underfoot who must think his name is “Jesus Christ” because that’s what she’s hollering at him all the time. She said to me tonight, “I know I’m a loud mouth….” and I had to bite my lip to say “yes and you should be arrested for some of the things you say to your children.
She jumped on me the minute we returned from a nice dinner at Mary Ellen’s, complete with a couple glasses of wine. I almost wish I’d had a third glass of wine; I might not have held my tongue. I may be sporting a black eye as I type this now, but it might have been worth it. Life had not been kind to us lately, and it just didn’t feel right that this woman should beat up on me either.
But, I’m really not going to let her. Instead I’m going to be content to know I have wonderful friends who know I’m going through a rough spell and cook dinner for me and don’t yell at me. They are priceless. The she-beast who lives in the back apartment of this house will probably never know such friends. I pity her. She may need them someday.
Coming home with a belly full of spaghetti and meatballs courtesy of Mary Ellen who cooked for us tonight, knowing we’d come home from the camper and had doctor appointments and nothing in our refrigerator here…..she is so wonderful…..I was accosted by my neighbor in the back who accused me of messing with the clothes she had in the washing machine today.
Right. I’ve got all sorts of time for that kind of stuff in my life these days. Actually, SHE took MY clothes out of the washer to put her clothes in AND opened the dryer door so my clothes in there didn’t dry….but she had an “issue” with my messing with her clothes. This woman just came home from the hospital with a newborn baby (we did not know she was pregnant even) and has a less-than-two-year-old underfoot who must think his name is “Jesus Christ” because that’s what she’s hollering at him all the time. She said to me tonight, “I know I’m a loud mouth….” and I had to bite my lip to say “yes and you should be arrested for some of the things you say to your children.
She jumped on me the minute we returned from a nice dinner at Mary Ellen’s, complete with a couple glasses of wine. I almost wish I’d had a third glass of wine; I might not have held my tongue. I may be sporting a black eye as I type this now, but it might have been worth it. Life had not been kind to us lately, and it just didn’t feel right that this woman should beat up on me either.
But, I’m really not going to let her. Instead I’m going to be content to know I have wonderful friends who know I’m going through a rough spell and cook dinner for me and don’t yell at me. They are priceless. The she-beast who lives in the back apartment of this house will probably never know such friends. I pity her. She may need them someday.
Thursday, May 27, 2010
No Need for Body Counts
No, this isn’t an anti-war rant…although I could go there easily.
Recently a musician died that I once had a passing acquaintance with as we both grew up in the same town. I had a closer relationship with someone who once had played in several of his bands. Upon hearing of this musician's death we discussed how sometimes when one is rising to fame and fortune, others are left behind, sometimes unfairly and often not in the nicest way. Even though apologies eventually are extended and accepted – or at least that was so in this particular case – the truth is, it still happened and it still sucked.
A few days after this discussion another friend of mine and I were talking about another person’s rise in the corporate world. I cautioned my friend against blindly trusting this woman and my friend’s response was, “Well, she never would have gotten the position she has without leaving some bodies behind.”
Hmmm. Have we become so calloused as a society that we believe it is perfectly OK to leave behind a body count on our rise to success?
Certainly I can’t be the only person left who believes that not only can a person become successful without negatively impacting the lives of others, but the only folks who DESERVE success are those who don’t forget the ones who got them there, who remember what it’s like to walk in the shoes of others, who don’t let the money go to their heads, and who remember to give back as much as they take.
Recently a musician died that I once had a passing acquaintance with as we both grew up in the same town. I had a closer relationship with someone who once had played in several of his bands. Upon hearing of this musician's death we discussed how sometimes when one is rising to fame and fortune, others are left behind, sometimes unfairly and often not in the nicest way. Even though apologies eventually are extended and accepted – or at least that was so in this particular case – the truth is, it still happened and it still sucked.
A few days after this discussion another friend of mine and I were talking about another person’s rise in the corporate world. I cautioned my friend against blindly trusting this woman and my friend’s response was, “Well, she never would have gotten the position she has without leaving some bodies behind.”
Hmmm. Have we become so calloused as a society that we believe it is perfectly OK to leave behind a body count on our rise to success?
Certainly I can’t be the only person left who believes that not only can a person become successful without negatively impacting the lives of others, but the only folks who DESERVE success are those who don’t forget the ones who got them there, who remember what it’s like to walk in the shoes of others, who don’t let the money go to their heads, and who remember to give back as much as they take.
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
Expectations (and Blessings)
Typically, my expectations of others are low. It’s easier for me to expect less; I’m disappointed less often that way.
Recently we’ve been absolutely BLESSED with the kindness of others when Chris had surgery to replace his weary knee. Because of my seizure disorder, I do not drive. Offers for rides to the hospital and later to the rehab facility were abundant. Every morning my phone rang with someone new asking … Did I need to go get groceries? Did I need a ride to the post office? Any prescriptions I needed? How was I getting out to see Chris that day? Was I interested in going out for lunch? Were my library books due back?
I learned how to say “yes”, which is not as easy as it may seem. I hate to impose on others, but I found that, as I like doing for others, others liked doing for me. And I enjoyed those glasses of wine with Mary Ellen, catching up with news of Janet’s grandchildren and her new camp, breakfast with Vince and listening to him read his latest work, eating Josh’s peanut butter cookies, visiting with Mark and Alice, running errands with Kathy, hearing Tim telling me what Rupert did when he spent the night with McKinley, laughing with Sharon about how well we make lemonade out of the lemons life hands us, venting with Denise and running into all our neighbors when I was walking Rupert who asked about Chris and offered rides or whatever. And then there are my many Internet friends who sent wishes and kept me company when I couldn’t sleep, and my musician friends who soothes me with their tunes. My son and his oldest daughter supported me via text messages, as is their way.
BUT….you must have known there was a ‘but’ coming…..surrounded by such support I allowed my expectation to be raised and to include everyone around us to treat us as we would treat them in a similar situation. We are truly blessed to have friends we treasure and family we love. This includes my mother-in-law. My husband is an only child. We have taken ‘Mom’ on two cruises (we paid)….including our honeymoon cruise….and on several vacations to Manhattan and other places. When she had surgery a couple of years ago, we took very good care of her….we wanted to do so, no questions asked, we took time off from our jobs and did this willingly and lovingly. Not because it was expected of us, but because we wanted to.
She did take us to the hospital the day of his surgery and did drive me back and forth the three days he was in the hospital. She also took Rupert for me the first day Chris was in rehab so I could spend the day there with him. I won’t say she made this easy in any way; she has a way of letting you know that it is an inconvenience for her (she wanted to be mowing her lawn instead one day).
Chris was told he was going to be released on a Friday and wanted her to take him home. (Don’t we all want our mothers when we’re not feeling well? Even I want my mother when I’m not feeling well, and believe me, she was a piece of work even when she was sober!) The MIL lives five minutes from the rehab facility. We had planned to have her pick him up, call me when they got close to home so I could take the dog for a walk, they could get Chris settled in at home and then I could bring Rupert in and he could get all excited about his favorite toy’s return home after two weeks away without any worry about Rupert knocking Chris down or jumping up on him. The MIL agreed. Then the release day was moved up a day early. When I called her to tell her this, she said she was “too busy” to do it that day.
“Too busy” really meant that she had an appointment three hours later than the time he was being released. It would have taken her twenty minutes to drive him from the rehab facility to our place, then another half hour at the most to drive back home. So we were asking her for an hour of her time at the most. Why did she need three hours before her appointment? She needed to make sure she had enough time to do her hair and makeup.
The truth is, she was “annoyed” (I could use other words here) that we had friends who helped us out…..and we were able to call one of those friends (thanks, Tim!) who brought Chris home last Thursday. Yesterday, Chris called her to let her know he was doing OK. She made a comment about wondering why he hadn’t called her sooner. Good thing I wasn’t the one on the phone as I might have said, “Phone lines work both ways.” And then in the course of their conversation she tells Chris that his aunt died while he was in the hospital, but she “didn’t want to bother him with the news then.” She hasn’t spoken to this sister in twenty years or so, but Chris and I have seen her and we would have liked to have known. I would expect a mother to act differently.
There I go again…..raising my expectations.
Recently we’ve been absolutely BLESSED with the kindness of others when Chris had surgery to replace his weary knee. Because of my seizure disorder, I do not drive. Offers for rides to the hospital and later to the rehab facility were abundant. Every morning my phone rang with someone new asking … Did I need to go get groceries? Did I need a ride to the post office? Any prescriptions I needed? How was I getting out to see Chris that day? Was I interested in going out for lunch? Were my library books due back?
I learned how to say “yes”, which is not as easy as it may seem. I hate to impose on others, but I found that, as I like doing for others, others liked doing for me. And I enjoyed those glasses of wine with Mary Ellen, catching up with news of Janet’s grandchildren and her new camp, breakfast with Vince and listening to him read his latest work, eating Josh’s peanut butter cookies, visiting with Mark and Alice, running errands with Kathy, hearing Tim telling me what Rupert did when he spent the night with McKinley, laughing with Sharon about how well we make lemonade out of the lemons life hands us, venting with Denise and running into all our neighbors when I was walking Rupert who asked about Chris and offered rides or whatever. And then there are my many Internet friends who sent wishes and kept me company when I couldn’t sleep, and my musician friends who soothes me with their tunes. My son and his oldest daughter supported me via text messages, as is their way.
BUT….you must have known there was a ‘but’ coming…..surrounded by such support I allowed my expectation to be raised and to include everyone around us to treat us as we would treat them in a similar situation. We are truly blessed to have friends we treasure and family we love. This includes my mother-in-law. My husband is an only child. We have taken ‘Mom’ on two cruises (we paid)….including our honeymoon cruise….and on several vacations to Manhattan and other places. When she had surgery a couple of years ago, we took very good care of her….we wanted to do so, no questions asked, we took time off from our jobs and did this willingly and lovingly. Not because it was expected of us, but because we wanted to.
She did take us to the hospital the day of his surgery and did drive me back and forth the three days he was in the hospital. She also took Rupert for me the first day Chris was in rehab so I could spend the day there with him. I won’t say she made this easy in any way; she has a way of letting you know that it is an inconvenience for her (she wanted to be mowing her lawn instead one day).
Chris was told he was going to be released on a Friday and wanted her to take him home. (Don’t we all want our mothers when we’re not feeling well? Even I want my mother when I’m not feeling well, and believe me, she was a piece of work even when she was sober!) The MIL lives five minutes from the rehab facility. We had planned to have her pick him up, call me when they got close to home so I could take the dog for a walk, they could get Chris settled in at home and then I could bring Rupert in and he could get all excited about his favorite toy’s return home after two weeks away without any worry about Rupert knocking Chris down or jumping up on him. The MIL agreed. Then the release day was moved up a day early. When I called her to tell her this, she said she was “too busy” to do it that day.
“Too busy” really meant that she had an appointment three hours later than the time he was being released. It would have taken her twenty minutes to drive him from the rehab facility to our place, then another half hour at the most to drive back home. So we were asking her for an hour of her time at the most. Why did she need three hours before her appointment? She needed to make sure she had enough time to do her hair and makeup.
The truth is, she was “annoyed” (I could use other words here) that we had friends who helped us out…..and we were able to call one of those friends (thanks, Tim!) who brought Chris home last Thursday. Yesterday, Chris called her to let her know he was doing OK. She made a comment about wondering why he hadn’t called her sooner. Good thing I wasn’t the one on the phone as I might have said, “Phone lines work both ways.” And then in the course of their conversation she tells Chris that his aunt died while he was in the hospital, but she “didn’t want to bother him with the news then.” She hasn’t spoken to this sister in twenty years or so, but Chris and I have seen her and we would have liked to have known. I would expect a mother to act differently.
There I go again…..raising my expectations.
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