Tuesday, February 16, 2010

And So It Ends.....

Benjamin Franklin said, "Either write something worth reading or do something worth writing."

When I stopped working four years ago, it was largely due to health reasons but also to give myself an opportunity to write. I got healthier; I wrote. My writing took me places I never expected to go, including into the fray of a writing group whose members have become an alternative family to me. I will miss them.

There was a compromise made when we decided to live on one half of our income. I stopped buying books and new music. We no longer traveled or helped the kids out when they couldn't pay their phone bills. My cooking skills improved as we dined out less. Chris came home for lunch every day. I've worn the same blue jeans for the last four years (happily, I have to wear a belt with them now, and need to add a new hole to keep them up.) We haven't bought new underwear, new furniture, new linens for the bed.

Yet, we've been happy. I haven't had to deal with office politics and Chris hasn't had to deal with me dealing with office politics. I didn't have to fire anyone in four years. That felt good. We made a bunch of new friends getting involved with songwriting people, going out to hear more live music, going to poetry readings. We adopted Rupert and he's taken us on a delightful puppy ride, has turned into the dog we both always wanted. Yes, we're happy.

BUT......you knew there was a 'but' coming, didn't you? I stopped doing much of anything worth writing about. I've spent so much time with my head down in my office, I've lost track of what's going on in the world. Recently I realized how much I once liked going to work every day and making a difference in someone's life. My poetry certainly hasn't done that. My novels still sit on the shelf in my office.......and so.....

I'm searching the want ads, trying to find a place where I might fit in and weave the magic I know is still within me to make an agency, a small company, a physician's office run efficiently, to focus staff on working coherently, to motivate employees and employers to listen to one another and work together for the common good. I was good at it once; I can do it again.

Maybe words for my poems will come again at night and I'll start losing sleep again.

So, I am ending this blog. For me it was my "morning notes"....my adaptation of Julia Cameron's "The Artist's Way", a book I could never fully dive into, although I found some inspiration there.

Thanks to those of you who have read me whether you've left me a comment here or sent me an e-mail. I've always appreciated it! I wish you sunny days ahead.